Being thankful

1 Thess. 5: 16 - 21 (nrsv)

¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray without ceasing,¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ¹⁹Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰Do not despise the words of prophets,^{* 21}but test everything; hold fast to what is good;

See the definition for quench here, in particular 1a & 2b.

I am aiming to not quench, or allow to be quenched the Spirit. The Spirit of God as the independent Entity that It is, and the Spirit within me (the Comforter - also called Advocate and Helper that Jesus tells us of in John 14:26). In order that this Spirit be allowed to thrive in my life, I will name all the things that I am thankful for, I will rejoice because of them (and because God is simply worth being thankful for), I will pray consistently, and I will remember to hold fast to what is good.

What I am holding fast to. The good things. What I am thankful for:

• For the health of my family, both by blood, by water, and by spirit, I am thankful.
• For health in my body - I have felt mildly unwell, I have been uncomfortable. Yet, God has preserved my health by and large, I am thankful.
• For the love and support of many people, I am thankful.
• For a sound mind, and the ability to manipulate my faculties and functions (yes, yes, I realize that sanity is all in mind of the beholder *smile*), I am thankful
• For the ability to further my education, and learn from esteemed and intelligent scholars, I am thankful.
• For the means with which to have shelter, connection, and sustenance, I am thankful.
• For the ability to laugh, chuckle, smile, smirk, and gaze with benevolence, I am thankful.
• For the mind to even be thankful, I am thankful.

What are you thankful for today? I promise you, you have something to be thankful for - this list is certainly not exhaustive! But it is a start!! And despite some of the rain clouds (and snow clouds) that rolled over here today, just remembering that there is much to be thankful for brings some peace, some stillness, some calm back into view.

It's funny how practicing these small things, like praying over things you can be thankful for, are for your good. Yes, God is pleased when we remember that the picture is bigger than what is on the immediate (though, the immediate can be of immense importance) horizon; but I believe that when we commit to the simple practices (like this one) the blessings the practices bestow upon the practitioner (or worshipper) are manifold.

In blessing, you are blessed.

Be blessed dear hearts. Vaya con Dios.

Things I'm thinking On...

Instead of inundating you with words, I thought I'd share with you some things I am thinking deeply on, with pictures and a few captions explaining what the images are about (in my humble opinion) and why I care (in brief!)

Journey with me, if you will....

Firstly, Libations: In Ghana, there is a tradition of pouring water, or a pure liquor (so, not a cocktail, but a singular liquor, gin or schnapps), and saying a prayer at the beginning of any important event: an important meeting of important people, for religious gatherings, baby out-doorings (introducing a child to the community) and other events of import.

Why libations? Well, for a paper I have to write. Also, because the principles behind libations make me think of the ways in which American Christians (and a lot of Christianities) venerate the saints who have passed. It could be said that Jesus is our greatest ancestor. Now, venerated ancestors don't just happen, they become ancestors through living exemplary lives. Much the same way that we (Americans, Westerners, Western Christians) uplift exemplary Christian figures - they become persons we admire even in death, we learn from the way they lived, emulate them even. In fact, we are supposed to model the life of Jesus! I am contemplating our fear of connecting ourselves to this tradition, in which ancestors (those who are great ancestors, and those members of our family who have simply gone on to the next life) are called upon so that they can continue to be a part of the community of the living. We, Western Christians, invoke Paul, Peter, the disciples, the early Christians (of Scripture, and of historical records), when we refer to our books of discipline, our doctrines and creeds, when we sing hymns and so on. Why do we avoid our connection to the bearers of our traditions? (Yes, I'm speaking to you Africans in the diaspora.)

Bonus on the Image: This image might actually be of Dr. Kofi Asare Opoku, who we did meet while in Ghana. He's awesome.

Secondly, Adinkra Symbols: One, they intrigue me because of their very existence. Often, we faun over Chinese, Japanese, Korean calligraphy.

I instantly was in love with this iconography - can't be dyslexic with adinkra symbols. And I love that there are proverbs and sayings behind the symbols. Like so much of West African culture, each image has a meaning, and various applications and connections to other aspects of the culture.

This lovely symbol is called nyame nti (by God's grace).

I think it mimics a kind of large fern tree that I have actually seen in Ghana. And the real tree just raises in me the emotions of flexible strength - it looks like the plant danced out of the ground. Perhaps, the tree says to us, by being flexible, by stretching and bending to reach the light, we can still grow tall. Don't be deterred! Just keeeeeeeeep reaching!!!

Lastly, for the Womanist Warrior in me, I have been contemplating pleasure, emotion, passion and love as a Black woman. I am thinking deeply on the meanings, workings, effects of pleasure in all forms. One particular pleasure I've had on my mind is... unabashed, unfettered, unencumbered love for the self.

What would it mean for me (and for you, if you're in this camp) to fully love every single part of me - and to be in love with the me God gave me.

Note/Credit: this picture comes from the fantabulous Mickalene Thomas. Check her out here (fore-warning: some images are racier than others, ie: breasts, hips, expressions of erotic ecstasy).

Also, what does sexy really mean? And what are our (Black women's) fears, hopes and dreams around the topic of romantic love, and/or sex (coitus!)? And how do those fears, hopes and dreams make us operate in the real world?

Do I have answers to all my questions? No. But am I having fun turning the thoughts over in my mind? Absolutely!! Let's strike up a convo about it - I'm itching to have conversation partners on these topics.

to call

walk in, set down your keys, flop onto the bed

knowing that there's something else you should do

besides lay down your sleepy head

looking into the inside of your eyelids

... you sigh as you drift off instead

and you see her about a year before

smiling back at you, easy and light hearted there

priceless lips, shining eyes

you long to see this girl again

and you see yourself about a year before

holding on to hope and believing that everything good was coming

confident, without a care

if only you were still that man

That one wakes your conscience,

Back to reality, but your eyes refuse to open

So you keep watching

Remembering that now the picture is dimmer

Fuzzier. The sound quality is not that good.

The lips are still priceless, and you still feel hope

But you wonder, is she still that girl, am I still that man?

That one moves your heart

And your eyes obey.

If you ever hope that you're both still in the right place...

You have reach out and call.

One nostril at a time

A few years ago, around this time, I had a yoga instructor named Beeker. During one session, we did a breathing exercise that required us to breathe from one nostril at a time (you can find out a little about nadi sodhana here, it's a really calming exercise). This technique in breathing is a controlled way of doing something that our body does naturally, that is, using one nostril predominantly for inhalation, the other for exhalation; the nostrils change roles seamlessly throughout the day.

When I began this post, I thought about Beeker's exercise because my sinuses were changing shifts: deciding who would be clogged, and who would do the breathing. (It really felt like a changing of the guard, and my brain perked up because it was so excited to get a full dose of air.) This foretaste of freedom reminded me of one of my goals this year: Do one thing at a time, and do it well.

I often find myself frustrated with feelings of being "unfinished", or not as far along as I wish to be. Many times I have to remind myself that it's a good thing to be "unfinished"because if I were done, I guess I'd have the gravestone to prove it. Thanks be to God I'm not quite done.

Having the opportunity to breathe in fully, and breathe out fully reminded me that I really can only take in and put out but so much at one time. There is really only one breath in, and one breath out at a time. I have no auxiliary parts to myself that can function in my stead, so I have every right to take things as they come. Celebrating the moments of full clarity, and appreciating the lessons that times of congestion can teach me. Sometimes those compressed times alert me to how I've taken my usual freedoms and accomplishments for granted.

I wish not to go from issue to issue, but from breath to breath being grateful that I can take it in. And, as the yoga exercise teaches, I can only inhale life, one breath and one nostril at a time.

Quarter of a Century

I spent a lot of time in the past six months wondering who was I becoming, and who I was for a part of my life.

For a few months, I really did not like what I saw when I was looking at the woman in the mirror. So, I had to ask her to change her ways, and that was not easy. Asking yourself to change means that you've completed the prerequisite steps: Getting real with yourself. Thinking deeply about the consequences of your actions. Considering the outcomes that ensued from certain behaviors. And most importantly, drumming up the courage to even say "Hey, I don't like where I am. I want to move on from here." Admission is the first step to recovery (BBM big-smile face)

Looking at the previous 24 seasons of "In The Life Of" (the imaginary show I film of my life) ... I saw that I liked some seasons, and loathed others. I saw some things I wish I hadn't let go of, and others I wish I had (and much sooner!). The process of review was sometimes (too many times) like reading old diary entries: I inevitably cringe at certain passages and ask myself "What the hell was I thinking?". I laugh, I cry, I remember - the way I was, both good and bad. Well, those diary entry review binges usually begin and end within an hour. Going through that for several months on end - is probably not too healthy, but that's where I was.

I was in soul-review.

While talking to one of my sorors, I finally said it out loud: "Deep down inside, I want to be a better person than I am right now." Part of the things I'd been through in the past year were proof that I was human, weak, and capable of acting a plum fool - but that my inner woman was crying out for maturity and wisdom while I questioned what I'd gained from a rather tame life, not going too far to the right or left. Part of me lamented missing the wild and crazy days that are the stuff of undergraduate legend because I was too busy trying to be more grown (mature! although... that's also up for debate) than my years. I suppose some of my more recent endeavors have been a way of acting out, of pushing my own envelope. I was chasing something that was already gone - something that in the end, nobody wants for ever: reckless abandon.

This soul-review stuff was/is not easy. Not for the faint of heart.

This semester brought me to a class on meditation. The greatest little gem I've uncovered so far is that I am who I am meant to be, at any given moment. And that being impatient with myself only delayed growth. Being preoccupied with either the past or the present was keeping me from living in the present. Sounds like common sense... but it's easier said than done. Blessed with this new frame of mind, I began to re-introduce myself to patience with myself. A brand new concept.

The days wore on towards my birthday, and I was not really excited either way. I still felt like something was... well, missing. (Namely, excitement.)

Luckily, God provided friends who would not allow me to be neutral about something worth celebrating. I was surrounded with a lot of people loved me for me. Just where I am, just the way I am. Still youthful, still vibrant, still eager for more, still having lots of lessons to learn. I'd say that pretty good for someone who's only 1/4 of a century old. I am not a finished work yet, and I don't have to be. The changes I'm seeking don't (cannot) happen overnight. I don't have to be "there" yet. Especially since "there" is very likely a shifting target, that changes as I change. This milestone isn't so much a milestone, but a marker. More or less noting that time has passed. And by God's grace it will continue to pass, and I'll continue to grow by basking in the light and love of God.

New Year - New Template!

Woooo-hoo!!

Happy New Year fam-lay!

I'm just popping in so that I could do the one thing I promised myself to do today: work on my blog. That was what I was itching to do all day.

I know it's Valentine's Day, but I am not touching that in this post with a 10-foot virtual pole. It's just not where my head is. I'm looking forward to: my BIRTHDAY! *confetti*

In honor of my birthday, I'm making steps towards becoming more of the kind of person I want to be. I once read (somewhere out there) that one does not begin to grow into the person they wish to be until they decide what kind of person they want to be. It's important to decide how I wish to be in the world, and make steps towards being that kind of person. The rest, all that I set out to do, should fall in line with it naturally, and harmoniously.

I have spent my allotted time on blogging. But I enjoyed it. Especially finding this cool template!

Tell me what you think - and come visit me on twitter!
www.twitter.com/sacredissexy

God is good - all the time. Peace.

Support System - We all need one

I have a confession to make: I need a support system. I need the voices and words and encouragement of my loved ones to make it through the trying times in life. Whenever I am really down, and I can't sleep and I'm in a bad way, I'll wait up til my Mom is about ready to leave for work in the wee hours of the morning (right around the time that Jesus is getting ready to go to bed), and I'll call her to unload some of my troubling thoughts. Sometimes I'll phone my Dad and talk to him for a while - he's often pretty good for a laugh, and he reminds me not to be too hard on myself. I also miss talking to my s.o. - we talk so frequently that he's the one person who I pretty much count on as a steady presence.

Having the ability to text has pulled me through on a few occasions, but my ears always strained to hear a human voice that I could easily recognize and easily understand.

One of the main things I've been struggling with is being disconnected. It took some time to be regularly connected to the internet, and then even more time to get a mobile number. During all of that time, I hadn't heard the voices of any of my loved ones. When I finally figured out how to dial out to America, hearing Isaac's voice on the other end made me realize just how homesick I was - and how much I'd put off feeling homesickness. But once I recognized that being in touch or out of touch could help or hurt my state of being, I couldn't un-know that.

I have a second confession: being out of touch made the troubles I faced that much harder to bear. I could not just pick up the phone any time and speak to my mother. And emails sometimes were too tedious (they didn't relay my feelings in the right way) to send. I needed real-time reactions. Talking to one of my best girl friends on video chat (when it is possible) has seemed one of the best things to help even out my experience. But imagine, that's only 40-some minutes out of 7 weeks....

We all need each other, to varying degrees. It is often the people around us that keep us going, and give our lives deep meaning.

So, stay in touch, even if you sometimes think you don't have the time to do so. You never know who needs to hear from you, and who you need to hear.